








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 485 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 687 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,585 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11115 | 30% |
| Smokes | 9366 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 10104 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6000 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,216,975 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5023 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bonesawbone | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | INFUSIONNN | 48% | 98 |
| #3 | `..°W3stY°®¹ | 48% | 265 |
| #4 | SNappie™ | 44% | 130 |
| #5 | Bongo | 42% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bonesawbone | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | INFUSIONNN | 48% | 98 |
| #3 | `..°W3stY°®¹ | 48% | 265 |
| #4 | SNappie™ | 44% | 130 |
| #5 | Bongo | 42% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SNappie™ | 15 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | `..°W3stY°®¹ | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Bongo | 8 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | bonesawbone | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | INFUSIONNN | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | `..°W3stY°®¹ | 476 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #2 | SNappie™ | 330 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | INFUSIONNN | 195 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | bonesawbone | 149 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Bongo | 52 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | `..°W3stY°®¹ | +2.39 | 66 | 62 |
| #2 | INFUSIONNN | +1.61 | 69 | 69 |
| #3 | bonesawbone | +0.48 | 57 | 71 |
| #4 | Hephie | -0.40 | 47 | 79 |
| #5 | SNappie™ | -1.05 | 45 | 61 |





