








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 19 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
263 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,395 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 359 | 26% |
| Smokes | 346 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 374 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 316 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $122,599 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Resh | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | ChrisS | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | [G2] Mario ♑ 10 | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | NoReturns | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | Benny | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | SneLHesT | 33% | 3 |
| #8 | Pacmaxa | 33% | 6 |
| #9 | Elbattolone© | 30% | 10 |
| #10 | SMB | 25% | 12 |
| #11 | Noname | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benny | 2 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Bubbleking_Basti | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ChrisS | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoReturns | 126 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #2 | SMB | 60 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bubbleking_Basti | 45 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | ChrisS | 36 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Benny | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SMB | +3.23 | 70 | 77 |
| #2 | Benny | +1.98 | 71 | 83 |
| #3 | NoReturns | +1.83 | 82 | 85 |
| #4 | Resh | +1.30 | 68 | 87 |
| #5 | ChrisS | +1.23 | 58 | 53 |





