








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 287 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3510 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2070 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2796 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2450 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2112 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,152,755 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hydroking | 63% | 71 |
| #2 | tractorman69 | 59% | 70 |
| #3 | bort | 55% | 187 |
| #4 | DeeJ | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | NorinTheWary | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | tractorman69 | 59% | 70 |
| #3 | bort | 55% | 187 |
| #4 | DeeJ | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | NorinTheWary | 44% | 34 |
| #6 | AssGasket | 44% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bort | 18 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | hydroking | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | AssGasket | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | NorinTheWary | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | tractorman69 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bort | 266 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | hydroking | 180 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | tractorman69 | 168 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | AssGasket | 130 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | DeeJ | 73 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bort | +2.29 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | Damikester | +1.33 | 84 | 52 |
| #3 | tractorman69 | +0.72 | 66 | 68 |
| #4 | hydroking | +0.48 | 68 | 65 |
| #5 | AssGasket | -1.57 | 66 | 53 |





