








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1302 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 399 matches | ||
| Premier | 336 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,009 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4066 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4755 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4295 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3893 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,690,410 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 743 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Fletcher | 49% | 82 |
| #5 | DeeJ | 49% | 226 |
| #6 | bort | 48% | 46 |
| #7 | Skooter | 47% | 43 |
| #8 | AssGasket | 43% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bort | 9 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | AssGasket | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Henico | 3 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Skooter | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Fletcher | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henico | 1335 | 0.15 | 38 min |
| #2 | DeeJ | 826 | 0.17 | 27 min |
| #3 | Fletcher | 347 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | alex | 236 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | AssGasket | 137 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bort | +2.62 | 82 | 53 |
| #2 | alex | +1.42 | 48 | 86 |
| #3 | NorinTheWary | +0.58 | 80 | 53 |
| #4 | DeeJ | +0.00 | 49 | 75 |
| #5 | AssGasket | -0.26 | 70 | 52 |





