








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,426 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1331 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1765 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 775 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1555 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $517,225 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 206 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clasia | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | freshie | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | junior | 64% | 45 |
| #4 | ffffff | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | Gavin | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clasia | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | freshie | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | junior | 64% | 45 |
| #4 | ffffff | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | Gavin | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | junior | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | junior | 169 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | ffffff | 87 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | freshie | 75 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | clasia | 43 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | Gavin | 30 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | junior | +5.03 | 98 | 67 |
| #2 | clasia | +3.06 | 82 | 76 |
| #3 | Cryptic | +2.74 | 86 | 62 |
| #4 | ffffff | +2.48 | 86 | 68 |
| #5 | freshie | +1.80 | 82 | 61 |





