








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 665 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 402 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3131 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3569 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3120 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3208 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,536,723 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ο½ο½ο½ο½οΌο½ β§ | 76% | 29 |
| #2 | πππππ | 65% | 48 |
| #3 | Lettucewin | 61% | 84 |
| #4 | Bitch_boy | 56% | 94 |
| #5 | 3ntranc3 | 50% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Lettucewin | 61% | 84 |
| #4 | Bitch_boy | 56% | 94 |
| #5 | 3ntranc3 | 50% | 103 |
| #6 | β βKilmaroββ | 41% | 29 |
| #7 | xMonus | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3ntranc3 | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Lettucewin | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Bitch_boy | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | β βKilmaroββ | 5 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | ο½ο½ο½ο½οΌο½ β§ | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πππππ | 165 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | β βKilmaroββ | 163 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #3 | 3ntranc3 | 159 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Bitch_boy | 87 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | ο½ο½ο½ο½οΌο½ β§ | 76 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ο½ο½ο½ο½οΌο½ β§ | +5.01 | 78 | 40 |
| #2 | Mac1nπ | +3.28 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | xMonus | +0.21 | 54 | 43 |
| #4 | πππππ | +0.15 | 34 | 41 |
| #5 | 3ntranc3 | -0.05 | 57 | 37 |





