








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2692 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2409 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1693 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1999 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $99,842 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reed | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | t0ph | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | AidenK | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | yes | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | WILLBOBJOE | 51% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | yes | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | WILLBOBJOE | 51% | 63 |
| #6 | daeger | 47% | 47 |
| #7 | blksnta | 43% | 23 |
| #8 | The Ghost of Keurig | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daeger | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | t0ph | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | AidenK | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t0ph | 175 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #2 | yes | 156 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | daeger | 122 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | WILLBOBJOE | 114 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | AidenK | 57 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t0ph | +1.68 | 68 | 72 |
| #2 | AidenK | +0.67 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | boyer | +0.53 | 79 | 81 |
| #4 | The Ghost of Keurig | +0.43 | 54 | 57 |
| #5 | blksnta | -0.56 | 60 | 59 |





