








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 820 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 386 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4789 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,544 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2915 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3283 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3947 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3399 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,768,351 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 502 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | BS1KRR | 47% | 36 |
| #6 | McLovin | 46% | 118 |
| #7 | LAZ | 46% | 46 |
| #8 | SoGrim | 42% | 83 |
| #9 | NatriuM* | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mu7olini | 22 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | McLovin | 14 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | SoGrim | 12 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | XaNNergY | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | BS1KRR | 4 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McLovin | 207 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | LAZ | 173 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | XaNNergY | 132 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | BS1KRR | 114 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nanoeke Noekiii | 113 | 0.08 | 3 min |





