








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 680 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3913 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,963 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1514 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1934 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1638 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1877 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $770,389 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 549 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nanoeke Noekiii | 60% | 62 |
| #2 | Ale Pacino | 56% | 84 |
| #3 | SoGrim | 53% | 34 |
| #4 | McLovin | 53% | 250 |
| #5 | mu7olini | 53% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nanoeke Noekiii | 60% | 62 |
| #2 | Ale Pacino | 56% | 84 |
| #3 | SoGrim | 53% | 34 |
| #4 | McLovin | 53% | 250 |
| #5 | mu7olini | 53% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mu7olini | 15 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | McLovin | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Ale Pacino | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | SoGrim | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Nanoeke Noekiii | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McLovin | 468 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #2 | Ale Pacino | 119 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Nanoeke Noekiii | 111 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | mu7olini | 42 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #5 | SoGrim | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XaNNergY | +5.99 | 93 | 55 |
| #2 | mu7olini | +0.74 | 80 | 11 |
| #3 | Nanoeke Noekiii | +0.24 | 50 | 65 |
| #4 | McLovin | -2.61 | 50 | 52 |
| #5 | Ale Pacino | -3.04 | 52 | 54 |





