








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 232 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2156 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,278 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2575 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1430 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1474 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1799 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $805,114 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flooodles | 58% | 90 |
| #2 | FOSS | 51% | 84 |
| #3 | Shampoohbear | 50% | 216 |
| #4 | phenkis | 50% | 102 |
| #5 | Reeses258 | 50% | 219 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | FOSS | 51% | 84 |
| #3 | Shampoohbear | 50% | 216 |
| #4 | phenkis | 50% | 102 |
| #5 | Reeses258 | 50% | 219 |
| #6 | Kart | 47% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shampoohbear | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | phenkis | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Reeses258 | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Kart | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Flooodles | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shampoohbear | 1110 | 0.24 | 33 min |
| #2 | Kart | 397 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | FOSS | 347 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #4 | Reeses258 | 298 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | Flooodles | 250 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shampoohbear | +3.86 | 75 | 81 |
| #2 | FOSS | +0.96 | 76 | 67 |
| #3 | Flooodles | +0.23 | 81 | 52 |
| #4 | Warty | -0.35 | 56 | 51 |
| #5 | Kart | -0.81 | 68 | 61 |





