








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 623 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3257 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,704 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2649 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5634 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 4037 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2384 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,811,735 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FOSS | 50% | 401 |
| #2 | Flooodles | 50% | 415 |
| #3 | Warty | 50% | 219 |
| #4 | Shampoohbear | 49% | 645 |
| #5 | Kart | 48% | 479 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Flooodles | 50% | 415 |
| #3 | Warty | 50% | 219 |
| #4 | Shampoohbear | 49% | 645 |
| #5 | Kart | 48% | 479 |
| #6 | phenkis | 48% | 344 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FOSS | 24 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Shampoohbear | 17 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Flooodles | 12 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | phenkis | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Kart | 8 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shampoohbear | 3445 | 0.25 | 96 min |
| #2 | FOSS | 1807 | 0.21 | 56 min |
| #3 | Kart | 1307 | 0.13 | 32 min |
| #4 | Flooodles | 1116 | 0.13 | 36 min |
| #5 | phenkis | 899 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shampoohbear | +3.50 | 71 | 79 |
| #2 | FOSS | +1.09 | 72 | 72 |
| #3 | Flooodles | +0.21 | 77 | 51 |
| #4 | Kart | -0.13 | 70 | 61 |
| #5 | Warty | -0.46 | 54 | 51 |





