








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 460 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 356 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,358 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6419 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4323 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4116 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3500 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $584,953 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 673 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steve- | 67% | 70 |
| #2 | ahi777 | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | ✪ Tiddler | 59% | 110 |
| #4 | luketorn | 54% | 227 |
| #5 | null | 51% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ahi777 | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | ✪ Tiddler | 59% | 110 |
| #4 | luketorn | 54% | 227 |
| #5 | null | 51% | 51 |
| #6 | Kryzah | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | luketorn | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Kryzah | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | ✪ Tiddler | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | steve- | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | ahi777 | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | luketorn | 484 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | ✪ Tiddler | 353 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | steve- | 147 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kryzah | 116 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | ahi777 | 51 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steve- | +4.36 | 96 | 56 |
| #2 | null | +2.24 | 90 | 46 |
| #3 | ahi777 | +1.37 | 66 | 63 |
| #4 | ✪ Tiddler | +1.17 | 86 | 74 |
| #5 | axn- | +0.88 | 78 | 60 |





