








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 452 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 345 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3562 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2992 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3274 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5750 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 4436 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $661,739 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 391 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steve- | 71% | 45 |
| #2 | ahi777 | 70% | 50 |
| #3 | Spinna | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | Kryzah | 55% | 76 |
| #5 | Obs | 54% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Kryzah | 55% | 76 |
| #5 | Obs | 54% | 35 |
| #6 | axn- | 54% | 227 |
| #7 | ✪ Tiddler | 48% | 124 |
| #8 | NeverForget | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axn- | 21 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | ✪ Tiddler | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ahi777 | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Spinna | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Kryzah | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axn- | 1308 | 0.28 | 31 min |
| #2 | ✪ Tiddler | 416 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | Kryzah | 217 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | ahi777 | 106 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | steve- | 89 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steve- | +5.23 | 96 | 58 |
| #2 | ahi777 | +1.55 | 66 | 68 |
| #3 | Obs | +1.52 | 89 | 65 |
| #4 | axn- | +1.03 | 79 | 62 |
| #5 | ✪ Tiddler | +0.75 | 81 | 74 |





