








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 431 | 20% |
| Smokes | 628 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 505 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 554 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $231,281 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mira | 87% | 15 |
| #2 | hide on bush | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | ANGELGUN | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | disconnected | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | evelynrawr | 67% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | terrible nogood awful player sry | 40% | 5 |
| #13 | nbgee12 | 40% | 5 |
| #14 | Noble 6 | 40% | 5 |
| #15 | trap queen | 40% | 5 |
| #16 | Maxuel | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hambooga | 9 | 0.0229 |
| #2 | hide on bush | 8 | 0.0193 |
| #3 | Stx | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | mira | 2 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | kev | 2 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maxuel | 73 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #2 | Stx | 61 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | hambooga | 59 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | c | 49 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | kev | 34 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kouhai | +2.22 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | mira | +1.64 | 88 | 50 |
| #3 | c | +1.54 | 75 | 80 |
| #4 | nbgee12 | +1.21 | 68 | 70 |
| #5 | hide on bush | +1.18 | 69 | 34 |





