








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 311 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 349 matches | ||
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5355 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6102 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4727 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3797 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6046 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,483,650 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mang0 | 73% | 56 |
| #2 | JaVale | 66% | 32 |
| #3 | Skrimp | 63% | 119 |
| #4 | Juliet♡ | 63% | 32 |
| #5 | dytram | 59% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | HOMIE | 57% | 49 |
| #8 | BootyFlakes | 57% | 128 |
| #9 | Rice | 52% | 109 |
| #10 | EDGE | 50% | 30 |
| #11 | a^ | 49% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rice | 15 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Skrimp | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Juliet♡ | 7 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | dytram | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | mang0 | 4 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rice | 374 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | BootyFlakes | 347 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | dytram | 346 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Skrimp | 274 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | FusiioN | 195 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mang0 | +3.53 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | Skrimp | +2.14 | 86 | 58 |
| #3 | dytram | +2.11 | 87 | 47 |
| #4 | 2mas | +0.60 | 72 | 62 |
| #5 | a^ | +0.58 | 89 | 53 |





