








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 486 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 365 matches | ||
| Faceit | 113 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 121 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5561 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,863 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13008 | 38% |
| Smokes | 8798 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6542 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5515 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,348,355 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...

| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ![]() korgi | 50% | 432 |
| #7 | ✪ Persel | 50% | 108 |
| #8 | JØHNNYYY | 49% | 67 |
| #9 | Miss Clumsy | 48% | 356 |
| #10 | bLy'O.O' | 38% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuZe | 16 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | ![]() korgi | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Miss Clumsy | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | bLy'O.O' | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | majus | 2 | 0.0007 |

| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ![]() korgi | 1279 | 0.14 | 32 min |
| #2 | FuZe | 1245 | 0.19 | 36 min |
| #3 | Miss Clumsy | 932 | 0.12 | 22 min |
| #4 | ✪ Persel | 303 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | MethUser | 287 | 0.11 | 7 min |








