








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,816 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 329 | 18% |
| Smokes | 573 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 638 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 276 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $555,250 of utility $240 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gozo | 54% | 70 |
| #2 | PwnDexter | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Blocky | 47% | 85 |
| #4 | thiggsy | 47% | 90 |
| #5 | Heedson | 44% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | thiggsy | 47% | 90 |
| #5 | Heedson | 44% | 71 |
| #6 | HisShoes | 44% | 85 |
| #7 | Clarity | 42% | 12 |
| #8 | june | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HisShoes | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | thiggsy | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Heedson | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Gozo | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Clarity | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gozo | 416 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| #2 | HisShoes | 371 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #3 | Heedson | 263 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | Blocky | 217 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | thiggsy | 194 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gozo | +4.85 | 65 | 76 |
| #2 | HisShoes | +1.16 | 46 | 63 |
| #3 | PwnDexter | +0.64 | 68 | 62 |
| #4 | june | +0.64 | 67 | 62 |
| #5 | Blocky | +0.35 | 37 | 63 |





