








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1605 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2186 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1045 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1951 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $807,595 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PwnDexter | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | june | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | Gozo | 53% | 169 |
| #4 | Blocky | 48% | 179 |
| #5 | HisShoes | 48% | 169 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Blocky | 48% | 179 |
| #5 | HisShoes | 48% | 169 |
| #6 | thiggsy | 47% | 179 |
| #7 | KarmaCurry | 44% | 71 |
| #8 | Clarity | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thiggsy | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | HisShoes | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Blocky | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Gozo | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Clarity | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gozo | 1112 | 0.32 | 30 min |
| #2 | HisShoes | 734 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #3 | Blocky | 450 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #4 | thiggsy | 372 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | KarmaCurry | 101 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gozo | +4.38 | 66 | 75 |
| #2 | PwnDexter | +3.36 | 80 | 54 |
| #3 | HisShoes | +1.28 | 48 | 63 |
| #4 | june | +0.93 | 75 | 66 |
| #5 | Blocky | +0.17 | 34 | 63 |





