








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 343 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4359 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2379 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3637 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2444 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,042,990 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 452 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pirjo ja neljä koiraa | 65% | 37 |
| #2 | Urbankills | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | T♡ny | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | kosoboii🃏 | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | Kingi | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ougii | 48% | 155 |
| #7 | DonCha | 47% | 177 |
| #8 | pulujr™ | 46% | 91 |
| #9 | BRZR | 44% | 39 |
| #10 | H-Ä-K-K-I-N-E-N | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ougii | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | BRZR | 8 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | DonCha | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | kosoboii🃏 | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Urbankills | 3 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ougii | 818 | 0.26 | 20 min |
| #2 | DonCha | 543 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #3 | pulujr™ | 340 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | H-Ä-K-K-I-N-E-N | 243 | 0.49 | 6 min |
| #5 | Pirjo ja neljä koiraa | 155 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kosoboii🃏 | +3.62 | 86 | 68 |
| #2 | Nasse3 | +2.48 | 83 | 59 |
| #3 | Pirjo ja neljä koiraa | +2.01 | 86 | 72 |
| #4 | BRZR | +1.71 | 83 | 58 |
| #5 | Urbankills | +1.54 | 83 | 63 |





