








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1322 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,721 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 679 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1273 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1106 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 663 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $624,731 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barry | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Lake Man | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | Busta | 59% | 68 |
| #4 | DOUMAK | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Brendan Fraser | 54% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Imagine being a farmer | 50% | 14 |
| #11 | Buk | 49% | 141 |
| #12 | GoBolts | 46% | 39 |
| #13 | BigLot | 45% | 40 |
| #14 | Blazin_Bolt | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buk | 14 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Mogger | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | GoBolts | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | KyMilo | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | BigLot | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buk | 296 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | KyMilo | 171 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ballin' | 147 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mogger | 79 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lake Man | 76 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ballin' | +5.57 | 59 | 63 |
| #2 | Barry | +5.21 | 66 | 56 |
| #3 | Lake Man | +5.01 | 66 | 62 |
| #4 | Imagine being a farmer | +3.02 | 58 | 64 |
| #5 | Buk | +1.35 | 71 | 53 |





