








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 213 matches | ||
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4698 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4046 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2777 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3619 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,086,600 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joncholi | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | PAJIS | 62% | 74 |
| #3 | Rottis | 58% | 129 |
| #4 | blini | 57% | 40 |
| #5 | Plantse | 57% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Plantse | 57% | 35 |
| #6 | ILIAS * Coca-Cola® | 57% | 109 |
| #7 | Bahvel =D | 57% | 44 |
| #8 | Paksukainen | 51% | 95 |
| #9 | T1nke | 50% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paksukainen | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Bahvel =D | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | ILIAS * Coca-Cola® | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | PAJIS | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | joncholi | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rottis | 654 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #2 | Paksukainen | 402 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | Plantse | 201 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #4 | T1nke | 200 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | ILIAS * Coca-Cola® | 155 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elektroniikka | +1.37 | 76 | 70 |
| #2 | Bahvel =D | +1.07 | 90 | 62 |
| #3 | blini | +0.63 | 64 | 72 |
| #4 | Rottis | +0.39 | 75 | 66 |
| #5 | ILIAS * Coca-Cola® | +0.28 | 60 | 67 |





