








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 286 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 133 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3742 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3195 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2160 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1734 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2213 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $272,888 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twoja matka moj podnozek | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | mertel | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | Are | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | BOBi the Pärnian =D | 60% | 55 |
| #5 | saukk0n3n | 57% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twoja matka moj podnozek | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Are | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | elektroniikka | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | BOBi the Pärnian =D | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | saukk0n3n | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elektroniikka | 176 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | saukk0n3n | 125 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | BOBi the Pärnian =D | 115 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | twoja matka moj podnozek | 74 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Are | 66 | 0.14 | 2 min |





