








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1234 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 507 matches | ||
| Esplay | 203 matches | 1,819 | |
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,301 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3631 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4289 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 8688 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 4693 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,593,141 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nae. | 51% | 150 |
| #2 | Twonell | 48% | 174 |
| #3 | LeDownsTiger/Linder | 47% | 74 |
| #4 | andyy | 47% | 70 |
| #5 | Rambobeaver007 | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | LeDownsTiger/Linder | 47% | 74 |
| #4 | andyy | 47% | 70 |
| #5 | Rambobeaver007 | 44% | 43 |
| #6 | Cheifen | 42% | 64 |
| #7 | NoName | 42% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nae. | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Twonell | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | andyy | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Cheifen | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | NoName | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheifen | 144 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Nae. | 115 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | Twonell | 109 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | LeDownsTiger/Linder | 100 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | andyy | 96 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeDownsTiger/Linder | +2.56 | 75 | 58 |
| #2 | andyy | +2.28 | 69 | 61 |
| #3 | 𐂃𐂃 | +0.20 | 49 | 56 |
| #4 | NoName | -0.22 | 50 | 41 |
| #5 | Nae. | -0.53 | 62 | 58 |





