








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2500 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2232 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2135 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1998 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1265 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $708,230 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GTIX | 62% | 76 |
| #2 | Greaper | 55% | 195 |
| #3 | SkriL | 54% | 175 |
| #4 | cj | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | CakeAndBanana | 53% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | 2mas | 46% | 26 |
| #7 | 715209 | 43% | 51 |
| #8 | Bot Pope | 41% | 39 |
| #9 | Bumin | 40% | 30 |
| #10 | Lau | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bumin | 7 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | Greaper | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | GTIX | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | 2mas | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | SkriL | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greaper | 595 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | SkriL | 418 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | CakeAndBanana | 157 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | 715209 | 145 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Bumin | 125 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rub | +1.27 | 60 | 49 |
| #2 | SkriL | +0.99 | 46 | 69 |
| #3 | Greaper | +0.85 | 62 | 77 |
| #4 | GTIX | +0.71 | 63 | 43 |
| #5 | CakeAndBanana | -0.27 | 54 | 69 |





