








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,984 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2082 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2119 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1689 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1094 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $341,487 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | recruit | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | Kingrat | 58% | 48 |
| #3 | Pulu | 54% | 85 |
| #4 | Eugh | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | marok | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kingrat | 338 | 0.36 | 10 min |
| #2 | Pulu | 202 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Slime enjoyer | 184 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Motimäki | 98 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | MrTonttu | 89 | 0.05 | 2 min |





