








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 917 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1053 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 980 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1375 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $481,276 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyperal | 100% | 7 |
| #2 | Oliver | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Tectonic | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | bobnuthead | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | .heck// | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | .heck// | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | Noname | 50% | 28 |
| #7 | BobsBoosted | 45% | 33 |
| #8 | MrStacky | 44% | 18 |
| #9 | LEW | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BobsBoosted | 5 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Oliver | 3 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | Hyperal | 2 | 0.0144 |
| #4 | Noname | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LEW | 89 | 0.56 | 3 min |
| #2 | Noname | 88 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | BobsBoosted | 85 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Oliver | 51 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #5 | MrStacky | 49 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyperal | +6.85 | 93 | 38 |
| #2 | BobsBoosted | +3.22 | 77 | 72 |
| #3 | Oliver | +2.83 | 70 | 56 |
| #4 | MrStacky | +2.38 | 82 | 61 |
| #5 | bobnuthead | +2.04 | 66 | 57 |





