








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 177 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Overpass | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,890 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1581 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1342 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2850 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 1117 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $912,248 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ Jazzman | 44% | 194 |
| #2 | Jämsä | 42% | 24 |
| #3 | Laxborre | 39% | 28 |
| #4 | silo | 33% | 33 |
| #5 | Drexer | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ Jazzman | 44% | 194 |
| #2 | Jämsä | 42% | 24 |
| #3 | Laxborre | 39% | 28 |
| #4 | silo | 33% | 33 |
| #5 | Drexer | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laxborre | 26 | 0.0492 |
| #2 | DJ Jazzman | 24 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | silo | 8 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | Drexer | 7 | 0.0185 |
| #5 | Jämsä | 4 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ Jazzman | 331 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | Drexer | 117 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #3 | Laxborre | 68 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | silo | 58 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jämsä | 19 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ Jazzman | +4.39 | 72 | 52 |
| #2 | Drexer | +3.76 | 83 | 44 |
| #3 | silo | +2.02 | 88 | 28 |
| #4 | Jämsä | +1.39 | 55 | 20 |
| #5 | Laxborre | +0.09 | 71 | 29 |





