








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,514 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 625 | 25% |
| Smokes | 718 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 496 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 675 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $182,828 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JIMMMMMMAy 👑 | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | cmrn | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | omoo | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | Larry5k | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JIMMMMMMAy 👑 | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | cmrn | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | omoo | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | Larry5k | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | omoo | 1 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | cmrn | 1 | 0.0115 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JIMMMMMMAy 👑 | 110 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | omoo | 45 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #3 | Larry5k | 23 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | cmrn | 8 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cmrn | +2.94 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | fizzy | +2.87 | 89 | 56 |
| #3 | JIMMMMMMAy 👑 | +0.97 | 74 | 64 |
| #4 | omoo | -0.15 | 76 | 55 |
| #5 | Larry5k | -1.35 | 72 | 78 |





