








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 438 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2792 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2708 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1762 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2113 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1157 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,769,749 of utility $237 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slurms mckenzie | 62% | 63 |
| #2 | 『Mako Wish Kidd』 | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | dREW | 58% | 36 |
| #4 | Dark (bryan) | 56% | 61 |
| #5 | where tf | 48% | 243 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doug Fortnite | 31 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | where tf | 15 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | wilby_ | 9 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | slurms mckenzie | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | LilBilll | 7 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | where tf | 440 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #2 | Doug Fortnite | 337 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | slurms mckenzie | 256 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | wilby_ | 248 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | Dark (bryan) | 187 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slurms mckenzie | +3.66 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | wilby_ | +2.05 | 86 | 65 |
| #3 | where tf | +1.25 | 85 | 52 |
| #4 | LilBilll | +1.07 | 87 | 42 |
| #5 | Dark (bryan) | +0.95 | 85 | 64 |





