








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1792 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1809 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1442 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1517 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1729 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $606,723 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | powdered donut enjoyer↟↟ | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | 『Mako Wish Kidd』 | 61% | 36 |
| #3 | i smoke alien lean↟↟ | 56% | 61 |
| #4 | slurms mckenzie | 55% | 82 |
| #5 | where tf | 51% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doug Fortnite | 24 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | slurms mckenzie | 11 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | i smoke alien lean↟↟ | 11 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | powdered donut enjoyer↟↟ | 7 | 0.0228 |
| #5 | where tf | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doug Fortnite | 272 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | slurms mckenzie | 232 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | where tf | 161 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | i smoke alien lean↟↟ | 151 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | 『Mako Wish Kidd』 | 138 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | where tf | +2.63 | 89 | 49 |
| #2 | slurms mckenzie | +1.97 | 81 | 53 |
| #3 | Dark (bryan) | +1.02 | 82 | 65 |
| #4 | i smoke alien lean↟↟ | +0.13 | 85 | 62 |
| #5 | powdered donut enjoyer↟↟ | -0.33 | 82 | 55 |





