








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 104 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1808 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1644 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1520 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1293 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $413,241 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twitch.tv/t0bs69 | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | JOHNZ | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | HighFive | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | caLipo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | shift11 | 57% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | shift11 | 57% | 28 |
| #6 | YoloO | 56% | 16 |
| #7 | Tottii | 53% | 57 |
| #8 | wipseN:D | 52% | 56 |
| #9 | FuNk | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shift11 | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wipseN:D | 203 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | Tottii | 197 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | JOHNZ | 145 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | shift11 | 137 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | caLipo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 137 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuNk | +3.62 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | wipseN:D | +3.30 | 75 | 79 |
| #3 | twitch.tv/t0bs69 | +1.88 | 67 | 47 |
| #4 | HighFive | +1.30 | 88 | 61 |
| #5 | Tottii | +0.49 | 84 | 75 |





