








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1212 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,701 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 723 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1092 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1012 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 874 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $648,110 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dennis Fong | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Hipot | 45% | 105 |
| #3 | WhoDroopsMcgee | 42% | 38 |
| #4 | boby | 41% | 142 |
| #5 | jolms | 40% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | jolms | 40% | 143 |
| #6 | sam100 | 37% | 52 |
| #7 | Swampy! | 32% | 37 |
| #8 | lintybby | 31% | 16 |
| #9 | Ballpark Frank | 17% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boby | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | jolms | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Hipot | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | lintybby | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jolms | 312 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | boby | 208 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | sam100 | 136 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Hipot | 129 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Swampy! | 70 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lintybby | +3.73 | 91 | 55 |
| #2 | boby | +1.72 | 71 | 58 |
| #3 | Hipot | +0.56 | 59 | 57 |
| #4 | Ballpark Frank | +0.54 | 56 | 63 |
| #5 | Swampy! | +0.32 | 68 | 38 |





