








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 350 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2393 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,052 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1699 | 11% |
| Smokes | 4582 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4690 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5081 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $773,749 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hakmed | 56% | 403 |
| #2 | Gary "The Elo Terroist" | 54% | 79 |
| #3 | BananaBaguette | 52% | 542 |
| #4 | GandalfThePoint5 | 49% | 217 |
| #5 | Zirex | 36% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hakmed | 56% | 403 |
| #2 | Gary "The Elo Terroist" | 54% | 79 |
| #3 | BananaBaguette | 52% | 542 |
| #4 | GandalfThePoint5 | 49% | 217 |
| #5 | Zirex | 36% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hakmed | 39 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | BananaBaguette | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | GandalfThePoint5 | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Gary "The Elo Terroist" | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hakmed | 344 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | BananaBaguette | 338 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | GandalfThePoint5 | 120 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gary "The Elo Terroist" | 96 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gary "The Elo Terroist" | +4.23 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | Hakmed | +1.04 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | Zirex | +0.01 | 67 | 57 |
| #4 | Mike | -0.29 | 36 | 51 |
| #5 | BananaBaguette | -0.35 | 61 | 60 |





