








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 262 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




95 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5040 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,445 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4378 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5115 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4037 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1915 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,301,259 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 318 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike | 56% | 403 |
| #2 | BananaBaguette | 55% | 385 |
| #3 | GandalfThePoint5 | 51% | 148 |
| #4 | Zirex | 48% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike | 56% | 403 |
| #2 | BananaBaguette | 55% | 385 |
| #3 | GandalfThePoint5 | 51% | 148 |
| #4 | Zirex | 48% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GandalfThePoint5 | 18 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | BananaBaguette | 16 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Mike | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Zirex | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BananaBaguette | 663 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #2 | GandalfThePoint5 | 549 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #3 | Mike | 325 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #4 | Zirex | 103 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hakmed | +3.15 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | Zirex | +2.20 | 69 | 59 |
| #3 | Mike | +0.28 | 36 | 52 |
| #4 | BananaBaguette | -0.78 | 61 | 59 |
| #5 | GandalfThePoint5 | -4.73 | 16 | 64 |





