








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1449 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1545 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1287 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 505 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $458,327 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 438 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuzzyy | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Mike | 54% | 79 |
| #3 | BananaBaguette | 54% | 80 |
| #4 | GandalfThePoint5 | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuzzyy | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Mike | 54% | 79 |
| #3 | BananaBaguette | 54% | 80 |
| #4 | GandalfThePoint5 | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GandalfThePoint5 | 5 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | BananaBaguette | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Fuzzyy | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BananaBaguette | 222 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | GandalfThePoint5 | 129 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mike | 68 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gary "The Elo Terroist" | +4.08 | 87 | 65 |
| #2 | Mike | -1.02 | 37 | 58 |
| #3 | BananaBaguette | -1.63 | 59 | 62 |
| #4 | GandalfThePoint5 | -3.97 | 27 | 61 |
| #5 | Fuzzyy | -5.37 | 34 | 25 |





