








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 543 | 25% |
| Smokes | 670 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 604 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 383 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $79,480 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MasterOfCubesAU | 43% | 7 |
| #2 | antelope hiv | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | A_Cubed3 | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | lemon lemon fak lemon | 33% | 12 |
| #5 | cum obama | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MasterOfCubesAU | 43% | 7 |
| #2 | antelope hiv | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | A_Cubed3 | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | lemon lemon fak lemon | 33% | 12 |
| #5 | cum obama | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lemon lemon fak lemon | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lemon lemon fak lemon | 28 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | cum obama | 25 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | antelope hiv | 14 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #4 | MasterOfCubesAU | 4 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | A_Cubed3 | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lemon lemon fak lemon | +3.78 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | MasterOfCubesAU | +2.40 | 83 | 36 |
| #3 | antelope hiv | +1.73 | 79 | 74 |
| #4 | cum obama | +1.32 | 79 | 67 |
| #5 | Bat Fonzi | -1.60 | 29 | 63 |





