








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 409 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2609 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,131 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5725 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4264 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1934 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 4208 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $372,627 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 542 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dinner Winner Chicken | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | K3nfloww | 48% | 215 |
| #3 | Scritch | 48% | 46 |
| #4 | B̷B̸̎E̵E̵R̸͒R̶̔T̵T | 48% | 42 |
| #5 | Tony_from_cali | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K3nfloww | 181 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #2 | Tapèd | 160 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #3 | Mooseknuckle | 98 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | B̷B̸̎E̵E̵R̸͒R̶̔T̵T | 94 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dinner Winner Chicken | 81 | 0.13 | 2 min |





