








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1355 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1648 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1062 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1189 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 809 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $494,463 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fraggerste1N | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | ÉCL1PSE | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | ps4l | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | Johniaan | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Drunkenpony | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ÉCL1PSE | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | ps4l | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | Johniaan | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Drunkenpony | 49% | 49 |
| #6 | CR1T1CALL | 42% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drunkenpony | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | CR1T1CALL | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Fraggerste1N | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | ps4l | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Johniaan | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CR1T1CALL | 130 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Fraggerste1N | 129 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | ÉCL1PSE | 66 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Drunkenpony | 64 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | ps4l | 48 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ÉCL1PSE | +3.64 | 82 | 73 |
| #2 | ps4l | +1.82 | 78 | 66 |
| #3 | Fraggerste1N | +0.65 | 85 | 66 |
| #4 | Johniaan | +0.63 | 68 | 60 |
| #5 | CR1T1CALL | +0.26 | 75 | 69 |





