








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2512 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,732 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2999 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1996 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1744 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1993 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $501,977 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 135 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snup | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | ps4l | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | ÉCL1PSE | 50% | 108 |
| #4 | Johniaan | 48% | 103 |
| #5 | CR1T1CALL | 46% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ps4l | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | ÉCL1PSE | 50% | 108 |
| #4 | Johniaan | 48% | 103 |
| #5 | CR1T1CALL | 46% | 119 |
| #6 | Drunkenpony | 43% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CR1T1CALL | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | ÉCL1PSE | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Johniaan | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Snup | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CR1T1CALL | 341 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | ÉCL1PSE | 327 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | Johniaan | 157 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Drunkenpony | 150 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Snup | 134 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ps4l | +3.24 | 80 | 73 |
| #2 | ÉCL1PSE | +2.77 | 79 | 73 |
| #3 | Fraggerste1N | +0.73 | 88 | 65 |
| #4 | CR1T1CALL | -0.87 | 71 | 71 |
| #5 | Snup | -1.12 | 71 | 60 |





