








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2792 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,169 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1655 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2175 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2447 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1892 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,214,762 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ÉCL1PSE | 55% | 143 |
| #2 | Drunkenpony | 49% | 188 |
| #3 | Fraggerste1N | 48% | 103 |
| #4 | CR1T1CALL | 47% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ÉCL1PSE | 55% | 143 |
| #2 | Drunkenpony | 49% | 188 |
| #3 | Fraggerste1N | 48% | 103 |
| #4 | CR1T1CALL | 47% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ÉCL1PSE | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | CR1T1CALL | 6 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CR1T1CALL | 630 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | ÉCL1PSE | 445 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | Fraggerste1N | 371 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Drunkenpony | 289 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ÉCL1PSE | +2.68 | 76 | 73 |
| #2 | Fraggerste1N | +1.27 | 90 | 64 |
| #3 | CR1T1CALL | -0.53 | 70 | 66 |
| #4 | Johniaan | -0.97 | 66 | 51 |
| #5 | Drunkenpony | -1.42 | 49 | 63 |





