








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 161 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,795 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2323 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2500 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1532 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1440 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $798,930 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mavi | 53% | 185 |
| #2 | BadBoyBach | 52% | 208 |
| #3 | GIRAFMOUSE | 52% | 170 |
| #4 | UrMamasBoyToy | 51% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mavi | 53% | 185 |
| #2 | BadBoyBach | 52% | 208 |
| #3 | GIRAFMOUSE | 52% | 170 |
| #4 | UrMamasBoyToy | 51% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BadBoyBach | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | UrMamasBoyToy | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Mavi | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | GIRAFMOUSE | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mavi | 705 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #2 | BadBoyBach | 419 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | UrMamasBoyToy | 171 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | GIRAFMOUSE | 107 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nomic | +2.31 | 84 | 61 |
| #2 | Mavi | +0.95 | 77 | 72 |
| #3 | UrMamasBoyToy | +0.57 | 66 | 44 |
| #4 | BadBoyBach | -1.39 | 67 | 59 |
| #5 | GIRAFMOUSE | -2.23 | 49 | 46 |





