








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 776 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Faceit | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7738 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,102 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8022 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6294 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5688 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4098 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,231,039 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 328 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ecfN | 72% | 47 |
| #2 | lava | 69% | 77 |
| #3 | Melone | 65% | 43 |
| #4 | tobiJACKSON | 65% | 34 |
| #5 | Kalarot | 64% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Assa | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | buschingeR ¦] | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | wshbr | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | remi. | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | lava | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Assa | 1092 | 0.25 | 32 min |
| #2 | buschingeR ¦] | 743 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #3 | remi. | 708 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #4 | wshbr | 618 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #5 | he in smoke | 538 | 0.26 | 16 min |





