








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6790 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5497 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4383 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4171 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,003,230 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 581 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BERG | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | buschingeR ¦] | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Nukii | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | wshbr | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | lava | 6 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | remi. | 871 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | BERG | 796 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #3 | buschingeR ¦] | 625 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #4 | wshbr | 466 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | Nukii | 371 | 0.14 | 8 min |





