








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1855 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,174 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2056 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2596 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1995 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2527 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $576,796 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spenz | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Average Allah Enjoyer | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | Cummah | 57% | 75 |
| #4 | Tim Misny | 56% | 62 |
| #5 | LarryBird | 53% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | AHHHHHHHHHH | 50% | 18 |
| #9 | holycow | 47% | 30 |
| #10 | deckle- | 44% | 16 |
| #11 | NextGenMason | 39% | 28 |
| #12 | JachPot | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cummah | 14 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | LarryBird | 13 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | Tim Misny | 11 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | NextGenMason | 6 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | Average Allah Enjoyer | 4 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cummah | 423 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #2 | holycow | 184 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | Tim Misny | 93 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | NextGenMason | 92 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Average Allah Enjoyer | 88 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deckle- | +2.84 | 68 | 67 |
| #2 | Tim Misny | +1.74 | 52 | 55 |
| #3 | AHHHHHHHHHH | +1.64 | 65 | 54 |
| #4 | holycow | +0.99 | 59 | 64 |
| #5 | Cherry | +0.45 | 48 | 68 |





