








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1522 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1706 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2574 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3247 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2557 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $783,177 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KSY™ | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | Pengu | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | LogiS | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | Aitch en/de | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | ✯ veracruz 9os santos | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoHonor.PENTA | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | DevelPlay | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | ✯ veracruz 9os santos | 4 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | LogiS | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | ♥Hinazoe♥ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoHonor.PENTA | 369 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | Pengu | 77 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #3 | DevelPlay | 54 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | KSY™ | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✯ veracruz 9os santos | 30 | 0.06 | 1 min |





