








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
907 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1183 | 38% |
| Smokes | 599 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 662 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 656 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $294,914 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Burt | 36% | 14 |
| #8 | Dove | 30% | 33 |
| #9 | king slick (back in effect) | 27% | 22 |
| #10 | me llamo jeff | 25% | 24 |
| #11 | fish? | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brenzn | 204 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jagsy | 174 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Chreedledee | 149 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | me llamo jeff | 84 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dove | 48 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brenzn | +3.93 | 82 | 55 |
| #2 | Dove | +2.24 | 70 | 56 |
| #3 | Jagsy | +2.07 | 47 | 47 |
| #4 | Chreedledee | -0.81 | 58 | 37 |
| #5 | Gig | -1.01 | 31 | 49 |





