








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 908 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1590 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1341 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1454 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $335,446 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Pierce | 42% | 12 |
| #10 | jake | 41% | 22 |
| #11 | fish? | 33% | 18 |
| #12 | Banana | 29% | 17 |
| #13 | yung chimp attack | 29% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brenzn | 247 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Chreedledee | 212 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jagsy | 205 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gig | 105 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | yung chimp attack | 94 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jake | +5.11 | 69 | 45 |
| #2 | Brenzn | +4.09 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | Jagsy | +2.60 | 55 | 48 |
| #4 | Pierce | +2.57 | 71 | 56 |
| #5 | Banana | +1.57 | 77 | 39 |





