








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1759 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,350 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1705 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1253 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1773 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1619 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $175,755 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 197 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yayhe | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | Ethor | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | Spencedog | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | Nepsy | 58% | 60 |
| #5 | II jay II | 57% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Poop | 42% | 26 |
| #10 | Rad | 41% | 29 |
| #11 | jonners | 36% | 28 |
| #12 | Binsky | 29% | 14 |
| #13 | Big Lez | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlpacaBowl | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Nepsy | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | La Flame | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Yayhe | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | jonners | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlpacaBowl | 369 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | Nepsy | 191 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Yayhe | 100 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | jonners | 95 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | La Flame | 77 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonners | +4.81 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | Rad | +4.16 | 82 | 66 |
| #3 | Ethor | +2.69 | 72 | 58 |
| #4 | Nepsy | +2.67 | 83 | 74 |
| #5 | Melon.jpg | +1.59 | 81 | 70 |





