








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,799 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 707 | 19% |
| Smokes | 976 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1146 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 970 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $376,051 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nomless | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | noki woki | 38% | 8 |
| #3 | CycloneSpin | 35% | 106 |
| #4 | hue | 35% | 89 |
| #5 | kannh | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | hue | 35% | 89 |
| #5 | kannh | 35% | 23 |
| #6 | Meepless | 34% | 88 |
| #7 | Arcueid | 33% | 81 |
| #8 | via | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CycloneSpin | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Arcueid | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | via | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Meepless | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | noki woki | 1 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CycloneSpin | 312 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Meepless | 199 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Arcueid | 136 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | via | 91 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | hue | 88 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nomless | +1.17 | 70 | 38 |
| #2 | CycloneSpin | +0.78 | 57 | 52 |
| #3 | WhipeeDip | +0.64 | 54 | 59 |
| #4 | Meepless | -0.27 | 60 | 57 |
| #5 | Arcueid | -1.55 | 41 | 42 |





