










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 234 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 172 matches | ||
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11322 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,505 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12818 | 28% |
| Smokes | 12771 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 11170 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 8746 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,318,094 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1632 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Вall[Z?] | 67% | 223 |
| #2 | doggiisox | 65% | 60 |
| #3 | Diamond | 64% | 228 |
| #4 | mmoo | 64% | 199 |
| #5 | Jimbo | 64% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diamond | +3.80 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | mmoo | +2.09 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | dirty30 | +1.74 | 72 | 69 |
| #4 | Вall[Z?] | +1.25 | 55 | 48 |
| #5 | BeatingBros | +0.74 | 49 | 68 |





